CURB ALERT: I’m setting out a bunch of unfinished story plots on the side of the road. First come first serve! If this post is still up, it means plots are still available. Thanks!!!!! Please no phone calls!!!! The one about a girl trying to lure a boy first into a motel, and then into… Continue reading Plots I Never Finished
Some time ago, I bared my soul to the world in the iconic post Things I’m Genuinely Bad At. That was the essay wherein I composed what may be my greatest line of all time: “You are probably never going to be a pop star and I am probably never going to be a neuroscientist,… Continue reading Things I’m Genuinely Bad At, Part Two
Me: "Charlie, it's not the Gulag." Charlie: "No, but it's a prison of another type." Charlie’s Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found singing alone on rooftops when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
I was in an airport when I saw the sign: there are only about 3,000 tigers left in the world. Actually, the phrasing on the sign was very diplomatic. It read something like, There may be as few as 3,000 tigers left in the world. Even as the tiger sprints toward extinction, it still defies… Continue reading Childhood and the Extinct Animal
One Saturday in August, Charlie and I spent 12 hours driving toward, along, around, and away from the Texas-Mexico border. The first thing to know is that our entire “day trip” was informed by a very devious, very outdated, and quite frankly UTTERLY FALSE AND DIABOLICAL flier that we picked up at an overly hip hotel… Continue reading Forgotten Towns
"I'm a lightening rod for drama." Charlie’s Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found engaged in a power struggle with his landlord when he’s not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
"In all seriousness, that could be a good place to put the mini orbs." Charlie's Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found requesting the "presence of the abyss" at his own wedding when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
You get a sick thrill when you stumble across a website that has been cobbled together to provide “solace” for people who are mourning a stranger. You can read through the comment section and see the way raw grief paralyzes grammar. You can look at the last names and piece a story together: there's his cousin,… Continue reading On Being the Stranger
There are usually two ways people respond when I shriek, “THE WORLD IS OBVIOUSLY ENDING, RIGHT?” Some people (my beloved, my close friends) are like “yeah” and then we shiver together over a glass of wine. Others chirp “things are great!” and we stare at each other without saying anything more. If I had any… Continue reading Recommended Readings for Unstable Times
"Nobody knows about Stave Street, and even less people know about Point Street." Charlie's Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found playing TONIGHT at 7:30 (@ Comfort Station) and then again at 10 (@ Elastic Arts) when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.