"I'm fine being murdered, I just don't want to be ripped off." Charlie's Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found unfollowing celebrities on Instagram when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
Photo: Joseph Lyons Hello, Reader. My friends and I used to read this incredibly pretentious blog where the blog-writer was always addressing the Reader: singular, and capital-R. It works for Jane Eyre but let me put all doubt to rest right now: it doesn’t work for you. The longer I let toridotgov.com go without updating… Continue reading Everything in Moderation Except Listicles
‘Creative’ is a capitalist buzzword. Charlie's Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found writing songs based on the Book of Revelation when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
Tonight, I was sitting on the curb drinking a glass of wine—AS WE DO HERE IN CYPRESS PARK, LOS ANGELES—and thinking about the city vs. the country. I've read a couple of things lately that have emphasized the difference. Don't be impressed by my nocturnal musings, please. I was thinking about my immune system. And… Continue reading Spine
Oh, my little site, how I've neglected you! And if you think I've neglected tori dot gov dot com, you should see my actual journal—poor empty baby. Like everyone else in the world, I have been very busy. I have been traveling so much, it's like I think it's tax-deductible or something! HA! HA! HA!… Continue reading Human Raising Her Head to the Universe
That's why I'm so dangerous—I could get shunned, and I wouldn't even care. Charlie's Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found performing at Constellation tonight when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
Some days you like your job. Some days you don't. Here are 16 things that probably won't have any noticeable effect on how you feel about your life's work. Making to-do lists on subpar stationary. Reading stories about Florida teenagers who murdered their parents. Yikes, bro. Yikes. Loudly attempting to clarify your order to a… Continue reading 16 Things That Probably Won’t Make You Feel Better About the Work You’re Doing Right Now
Me: "Would you say that your logic is different than everyone else's logic?" Charlie: "No. My logic is the mother logic." Charlie's Opinions is a column dictated by Charlie, who can be found playing romantic improvised music when he's not staggering under the weight of all his opinions.
I've tried to update this blog—this PORTFOLIO, sorry, this portfolio—a million times this summer and fall, but I've been wracked with that weird form of writer's block that comes from having too much to say and too much money to be bothered to write it down and too many conflicting celebrity birthday party invitations to… Continue reading Writing As: An Introduction
HELLO, COUNTRYMEN. The last time I posted something here, I was in Spain, but the second I got home from Europe, normal life swallowed me whole—except you can't un-see "Guernica" and you can't undo moments spent alone in Istanbul's Basilica Cistern and thank God for that. I do have big plans for this little blog, I do—odd series and… Continue reading Busy Creatures