Forgotten Towns

One Saturday in August, Charlie and I spent 12 hours driving toward, along, around, and away from the Texas-Mexico border. The first thing to know is that our entire “day trip” was informed by a very devious, very outdated, and quite frankly UTTERLY FALSE AND DIABOLICAL flier that we picked up at an overly hip hotel… Continue reading Forgotten Towns

Writing As: An Introduction

I've tried to update this blog—this PORTFOLIO, sorry, this portfolio—a million times this summer and fall, but I've been wracked with that weird form of writer's block that comes from having too much to say and too much money to be bothered to write it down and too many conflicting celebrity birthday party invitations to… Continue reading Writing As: An Introduction


I don't even know where to begin. Here's how I've been feeling lately: ecstatic, dopamine-fueled, like everything is happening at once, and full of that subtle but deep underlying sadness that I don't think any thinking woman will ever be able to shake. Example: today, I saw Picasso's "Guernica" in person. I started crying. I stood… Continue reading Everything

Suitable Thoughts While Eating Quinoa

1. I am an ancient Aztec!!!!!!!!!! 2. Wait, is quinoa an ancient grain? Or is that farro? 3. I'd Google it, but opening up another tab just makes me want to die of Internet over-exposure, given that I already have open tabs for Gmail, Facebook, screenwriting competitions that I will never apply to because of… Continue reading Suitable Thoughts While Eating Quinoa

Today the Sky is Gray: A Compendium of Scientific Theories

1. It is a direct reflection of Freud's "melancholia," from which I am currently suffering, and the grayness is actually emanating from me as I sit here, staring out the Megabus window, driving farther and farther away from a land where coffee is made with care and buses run down literally every street, although they… Continue reading Today the Sky is Gray: A Compendium of Scientific Theories

Making Things Happen

Friends, Romans, countrymen: I just had a storytelling revelation. It may not mean much to you, but it's big for me. If you all give me five bucks, I'll share. By reading this far you have already agreed. Awesome. I'll send my accountant around to collect. Isn't it great how the Internet lets us make… Continue reading Making Things Happen

Loving the Cliché, Or Why Lana Del Rey Might Be a Genius

Something in me loves the cliché. Of course, as a writer, I also hate the cliché. I avoid it like the plague (cliché), run screaming from it (cliché), and am constantly attempting to drive a stake through its heart and rub it with garlic before topping with brushcetta (certified toridotgov mixed metaphor). Point being: I have… Continue reading Loving the Cliché, Or Why Lana Del Rey Might Be a Genius

Rihanna’s Instagram Feed: Reality Check or Pinspiration?

I spent a productive half hour tonight drinking red wine and browsing Rihanna's Instagram feed. (If you're over 40, I simply don't have time to explain all those words to you.) As I scrolled through photos of freakishly fabulous underthings, Chris Brown's naked upper half, and hashtags like #dopedealer, I couldn't help but wonder...(c) Carrie… Continue reading Rihanna’s Instagram Feed: Reality Check or Pinspiration?