Saturday Love List #1

My name is Tori Telfer, and I'm a fatalist. I just finished writing an extremely inflammatory blog post about Girls, Django Unchained, and Silver Linings Playbook, which I'm pretty sure would have lost me 90% of my friends (whatever, I'm right, ART IS NOT OBLIGATED TO REFLECT THE REAL WORLD OR TAKE THE MORAL HIGHGROUND… Continue reading Saturday Love List #1

Pizza Toppings to Impress Your Very Best Friends

Chunks of Raw Fish Tired of writhing in envy as your sophisticated compatriots slurp down eel, octopus, and yellowtail amberjack at the chicest of sushi bars while you nibble on well-cooked sweet potato tempura? Decorate your pizza with large chunks of raw fish. Cast a judgmental look on anyone who expresses nausea, and murmur something about… Continue reading Pizza Toppings to Impress Your Very Best Friends

Proper Arch-Nemeses for the Modern Young Lady

1. The Aging Bro As today's modern Miss languishes at her unfulfilling office job, she is likely to encounter an Aging Bro in the form of a Director of Marketing or an Agency Account Executive. Given your brains, spunk, and the charming way you blush under pressure, the Aging Bro will frequently attempt to take… Continue reading Proper Arch-Nemeses for the Modern Young Lady

Creepers I Can See From Where I Sit

1. My ex-husband. He just vanished through a filmy curtain into the back of his coffee shop. Is he avoiding me? I hear his sweetly deceptive voice berating another employee for something something latte temperature something something oolong tea. 2. The woman sitting alone on the park bench outside my window. Her fashion sense screams,… Continue reading Creepers I Can See From Where I Sit

Hipsters of the Heart

Today, my boyfriend and I got a very very very very very early coffee so that I could sob into his arms and plead, "Don't go home for Th-th-th-thanksgiving! I NEED YOU!"And as a matter of fact, I do need him, because I am staggering under the weight of how truly awful my writing is.… Continue reading Hipsters of the Heart

Second Chances

Shawty, you keep playing with my heart.Things are back on with my ex-husband. Sort of. It's not like we're getting married again--we're taking it slow, you know? Trying to make this work the second time around. We're still seeing other people, obviously,  but just between you and me--things are different. As Carrie Bradshaw told her… Continue reading Second Chances

Messy Divorce

Faithful subjects, I have learned an important lesson from the slew of embarrassing memoirs with little girls on the covers currently ravaging our bookstores and that is: I NEED TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF MORE.So I'm here to tell you a painful tale that lies very close to my heart.I was in a polygamous marriage up… Continue reading Messy Divorce