16 Things That Probably Won’t Make You Feel Better About the Work You’re Doing Right Now

photo

Some days you like your job. Some days you don’t. Here are 16 things that probably won’t have any noticeable effect on how you feel about your life’s work.

  1. Making to-do lists on subpar stationary.
  2. Reading stories about Florida teenagers who murdered their parents. Yikes, bro. Yikes.
  3. Loudly attempting to clarify your order to a distraught barista who has fled halfway across the room because the toaster just caught fire. “Sir, I meant half whole milk, not half-and-half,” you wail, but he has fled, and he hears you not.
  4. Mosquito nets, even though I’ll be the first to admit that they are pretty.
  5. Finding typos in online New Yorker articles. I see you, double space. I see you.
  6. Biking up very low but very long hills, the worst activity in the free world.
  7. Stretching in public.
  8. Getting bitten by rabid dogs.
  9. Glaring back at the dude who glared at you because you mildly bumped his table at the coffee shop, thus creating a tiny wave in his coffee and APPARENTLY HE CAN’T GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS.
  10. LEPROSY.
  11. When the coat of the person sitting next to you on a plane is just barely touching your elbow and you know they’re doing it on purpose to encroach on your personal space but what can you do? You’d sound like a psychopath if you accused them of anything. So you nudge the coat slightly with your elbow. They notice nothing.
  12. A Yogi Tea bag that says “I am beautiful, I am bountiful, I am blissful.”
  13. A well-timed fax.
  14. Counting your blessings.
  15. Murals.
  16. Books that literary people “enjoy.”