Half a Year: Photos

I bought a Moleskine planner today. (It’s a thing.) I cleaned out my camera. My new planner starts July 1st. While in limbo, I thought I’d look back on this first half of the year. This is a totally skewed portrait, since I never had my rather bulky DSLR at any of the many FABULOUS, STUDIO 54-WORTHY parties I’ve gone to, nor do I have screenshots of the MILLIONS OF GROVELING EMAILS begging me for a lock of my hair, but I like these photos nonetheless. What has this half-a-year been like? I couldn’t say. Some of it was a melancholy blur. A small part of it was spent blissfully cracked out on that elusive beast, writing inspiration. A little bit of it was spent careening through the air in a metal tube that runs on jet fuel–a terrifying activity that I hope to do more of in the fall. A lot of it was spent dancing and drinking. Many decibels of this year were expended in honor of my polygamous husbands, the BLACKHAWKS, STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS 2013. But what was it? What would I name this half-a-year, if I were Adam and God was asking me to give everything a name? I would say, “I don’t know.” And then I would ask God his thoughts on East of Eden, a freakishly good book…I think.

JANUARY: San Diego, LA, Bloomington (or: home, kindreds, grad school)

California etc 375 California etc 379 California etc 128 California etc 267 Bloomington 029

FEBRUARY: reading, coffee, Valentine’s hair, Chicago

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MARCH: Spring, Easter

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APRIL: Cohort

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MAY: Moving, writing, Colombia (PS: MORE PICTURES COMING SOON), existential despair

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JUNE: Farmer’s markets, hustling

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A Few Brief Thoughts on Being Legit [Video]

Addicted to iMovie and I’m not ashamed.

After re-watching this movie enough times to realize that it’s totally embarrassing genius bipolar, I have come to several conclusions.

Things I need to work on:

1. Talking loud enough to be heard over the rollicking soundtrack that I totally don’t have the rights to.

2. Narrative arc.

Things I don’t need to work on:

1. My hilarious fake-crying. #noregrets

Thirteen Nightmares

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I dreamed that deep in the forest preserve, a man shot my brother.

I dreamed you said you never loved me, and you clutched your phone. I wrenched it away from you. I didn’t want you to text another girl.

I dreamed I was running up stairs.

I dreamed I had an older brother, and we passed a monster every day on our way to school. We fed the monster peanut butter sandwiches, but one day, he wanted me.

I dreamed we ran in and out of a pink building, looking for a place to kiss in secret.

I dreamed I was in love with a short skinny boy I knew when I was fifteen.

I dreamed my high school crush kicked me into the sky like a balloon.

I dreamed the line, “When I woke up, I wasn’t anybody, not even Alice.”

I dreamed I was waiting tables in an infinite loop, and nothing was going wrong, and the perfect rhythm was terrifying.

I dreamed that you died. And you, and you, and you.

I dreamed I was swimming with a beautiful woman.

I dreamed I couldn’t get away from the witch.

I dreamed I lay back on a table in the dark.

In my dream, I was screaming and screaming.

I tried to stop him, but he pulled out the gun.

It went off, and—as in the rules of the waking world—you dropped like a dead man.

The State of the Union [Video]

CHECK OUT THIS BUSH-LEAGUE MOVIE RIGHT HERE! I MADE IT ALL BY MYSELF! YOU CAN’T HEAR SOME OF IT BECAUSE I WAS ACCIDENTALLY PLAYING SPOTIFY IN THE BACKGROUND! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE AS WE SPEAK! #recklessyouth #didn’twashmyhair #nopainnogain #SPAM

Part of the point of this video (which I accidentally cut out of the video cuz I’m an Oscar-winning cinematographer who just can’t be bothered) is that I got a new computer. I HAD NO IDEA THE WORLD WAS THIS FAST!