Dear everybody, welcome to the best part of your day. After much cajoling, bribery, and sheer brute force, I managed to wrangle my younger sister Anna into accepting the much-coveted position of contributing writer for toridotgov. Anna is a) a hilarious genius and b) currently conquering the world as a high school junior in gorgeous Southern California. When she’s not busy starring in musicals and running 30-second miles, she will deign to answer your most urgent questions with all the wisdom of her 16 years (and a lifetime of tutelage under the best: me). Got boy problems? Need career advice? Wondering what the square root of pi is? Like a Euripidean deus ex machina, Younger Sister is here to help.
All magic comes with a price, dearie.
Dear world of readers who should probably be at the gym or doing work rather than sitting, glued to their computer/iPhone/other-type-of-technology-that-I-can’t-afford-or-know-nothing-about, reading the increasingly interesting blog of Tori Telfer,
I am the unfortunate, misunderstood younger sister of said blogger, and I’m here to help you all with life’s most pressing problems, including how to cope with Chicago weather and how to start a business. I consider myself an expert on all things from aardvarks to zythum, and everything in between (except, of course, technology). Now before you all jump to judgments before getting to know the real me, I should begin by telling you a little bit about myself:
My favorite font is Century Gothic and I love all things Downton Abbey.
Anyways, a lot of my fans have been asking me for advice lately, so I thought I’d begin with my absolute favorite subject, SCHOOL.
WELL, I for one see no point in education. I came out of the womb reading Sophocles, and have found no use for anything else ever since. I see no reason for the tiring hours everyday one must devote to pursuing a “higher education.” The only thing high about this education is the teachers. WHEN WILL I EVER USE sinx= 1/cscx ?! Now you may be thinking, “I should stop reading now, this girl clearly isn’t an accountant or a triangle-activist.” And you’re right, I do not pride myself on either of those fine ambitions. All I’m saying is that cavemen survived without calculus, didn’t they?!
I advocate for a simpler world.
Concision is advisable, too.
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please keep them to yourself, because this is not a federally-run website and no one cares. Just kidding: if you feel the urge, go for it.
That is all.