My friends, I have two truly hilarious blog posts waiting in the wings. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder if I’m talking about you, you’ll know I would never do that because I’m a good friend, you’ll ask yourself if we’re really friends, you’ll ask yourself if you even like me, you’ll wonder why you’re still reading, you’ll find me slightly annoying, you’ll want this sentence to end, you’ll marvel at its Faulknerian breadth, you’ll be totally impressed, you’ll subscribe to my RSS feed, you’ll have a great time.
There is a time for those two blog posts but the time is not now.
Can someone please tell me what they’d like to see on this blog? Is it too negative? Should I post more pictures of latte art? More personal anecdotes? More lists of terrible societal trends? Blurry photos of “Kim Kardashian’s fetus” that look suspiciously like my foot? Let’s recall the halcyon days of Toridotgov when I was interviewing Barack Obama and let’s dream big, okay? I am open to all suggestions and I will even take requests. If you want to write a column for me, and you’re funny (or friends with Quentin Tarantino), shoot me an email or leave a comment below.
XOXO, Gossip Tor