I have created the perfect machine: I make puns on famous novel titles and then I laugh at them. It is perfectly self-generating, requiring no outside energy (except for food, air, and the love of my mother) and able to produce content at any hour of the given day. Will this invention cure hunger? Melt the polar ice caps? Ruin McDonalds? Halt the production of eBooks? Break your ankle? Make delicious pecan pie? Intuit why cilantro tastes like soap to some people and not others? Get you a raise? End the world? There is literally no way to tell. Scientists of the world, take note.
A Visit from the Glue Squad (the harrowing tale of a dying horse)
The Sound and the Facebook
Anne of Green Garters (a titillating romance)
The Sun Also Causes Skin Cancer
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Watching You Through the Little Sliver of Glass in Your Front Door That You Never Thought Needed a Curtain
Ombré (by Joyce Carol Oates)