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*And it never will.
You repulse my soul.
Please call 1-800-DR-FREUD before ever picking up a pen again. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
Wow, another straight-from-the-hip piece of literary genius! A tour de force! I know you said the New Yorker was considering this for possible publication in its “SUMMER FICTION: 1 Under 100” issue, but we would do anything–anything–to get our hands on this. Enclosed are some attractive photographs of us and a large tin of homemade rice crispy treats and some kale. WE LOVE YOUR WORK!
The Editors (J. Diaz, S. Dybek, and G. G. Marquez)