Friends, Romans, Countrymen:
But a horrifying truth has come to my attention. Friends: I MAY BE A CREEPER.
OK, so I’ve always been kind of creepy. My friend Matt used to say that I would laugh at anything morbid. Then he’d yell something like, “DEAD BABIES ON A PLATTER!” and I’d crack up. But it was more because Matt was hilarious than because I am a sick, twisted soul.
And true, my boyfriend, Meri, and I have come up with the concept of “Facebook terrorism,” which is perhaps the creepiest thing you can possibly do to someone (hint: go to their 57th profile picture and “like” it).
And, well, maybe my senior thesis was about a group of five clairvoyant “children” who lived in an abandoned apartment and silently watched a guy fall out of his window and die on the sidewalk, and then watched a young girl narrowly avoid A CREEPER by jumping off a balcony and shattering her ankle, and maybe at the ending the “children” all dissolved into a sort of disembodied ephemera of rags and dust when their own windows began to crumble outward, but…I WAS YOUNG! I WAS NAIVE!
Being CREEPY is not the same as being a CREEPER.
However, after my story was went live, my friend Rose sent me an email, saying,
“you are my new favorite creep!”
So that was one thing. And THEN, my dad sent me an email, saying,
“I love the creepy side of the stories you write–you may have to go back to Victoria as your nom de plume if you keep that up, however. Tori is rather sunny for ghosts, rotting things and missing fingers!”
Jeepers creepers! I didn’t think my story was that creepy at all! It’s about life (and a little bit about death). Ghosts and rotting things? Did I miss something? The thing in the white bag was very much alive! Anyway, I am obviously blind to my own level of Creep, which, as everyone knows, is one of the first signs of being a Creeper. So am I a creeper? Will I ever know for sure? If you stare into the abyss, does the abyss stare into you? Things to contemplate on this sunny morning.